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My Mother’s Breast Cancer

Around this time of year I am often reminded of how far we have come in raising awareness about breast cancer. How easy it is for us to have open discussions about it. How we celebrate survivor-ship and how we remind our friends and family members to do self breast checks and get mammograms.

Many years ago my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Looking back she never really told me what was going on but that something was wrong and she believed God would take care of her. I was living and working in another state at the time – so when I came home and discovered she had a radical mastectomy I was shocked and heartbroken. I saw where her breast had been removed. She also showed me her prosthesis – back then it was an object shaped like a small pillow, stuffed with material that she placed inside of her bra. I kept thinking why did I not realize the extent of her surgery. How could I have not known.

She was right – God did take care of her and allowed momma to become and 11 year breast cancer survivor. Those years were full of life and the breast cancer never returned. She eventually died from another form of cancer that doctors told us was not connected to the breast cancer.

Not long after she died my aunt and I were talking about my mom – her only sister. We were reminiscing about her life and impact on all of us. I said to my aunt “well, after momma had breast cancer…” and before I could finish the sentence my aunt looked at me in shock and said “breast cancer? I didn’t know sister had breast cancer!” She then began to cry. After all the time these two sisters spent together living in the same town – after all the phone conversations, holidays spent together, family dinners and going to church together she never knew her only sister was a breast cancer survivor.

Over the years I have come to understand why I didn’t know the extent of momma’s surgery. I never realized she would lose a breast because she didn’t want me to know. It was too personal – too private and she was too fearful to talk about it openly. We all know there was time when women didn’t talk too much about female medical issues. It was taboo in our society.

I am grateful to Komen for helping us lift the veil of secrecy and talk about breast cancer. Being able to share the news with friends and especially family members has saved many lives. Thanks to Komen we have come so far in raising awareness and money for research. And thanks to research we have made tremendous strides in eradicating this disease. Let’s keep putting one foot in front of the other through events like The Race For The Cure. We’ll get to our destination – it’s just a matter of time.

Middle East Vacation

I recently took a vacation to the Middle East.  It’s probably not often you hear someone tell you they’re going to that part of the world to vacation.  In fact, friends and co-workers first response was  – why?  But I was determined to go for several reasons. One – I have a cousin who’s married to a Saudi and has lived in Saudi Arabia and Bahrain with their two daughters for many years.  Two – I’m  adventurous and wanted to see the life-style first hand.  And three – why not.  Turns out this vacation was an awesome experience on so many levels. 

I spent time in both Bahrain and Dubai.  The Kingdom of Bahrain is a tiny island on the Persian Gulf perched between the countries of Saudi Arabia and Qatar. It is made up of about 4 cities that seem to run together. Dubai is in the United Arab Emirates and is two countries over from Bahrain. 

When I arrived in Bahrain I was overwhelmed at how beautifully unique it is.  Lots of palm trees, very little grass, plenty of desert sand and lots of gulf water.  The island is highly populated with several million people and the downtown buildings are gorgeous especially when lit up at night. My cousin and her husband picked me up at the airport in the city of Manama and we drove to their home.  They are a middle class family with a live-in house keeper and a driver.  Families over there sponsor people from other countries like the Philippines to come there and work for them.  The laws are much different and they don’t pay as much as we would pay for services like that.

While I was in Bahrain I did some sight seeing – and there is a lot to see and do. But I also had a chance to observe some of their traditions and customs.  For example – one night I went to a party where both men and women were invited.  The men stayed in one location while the women partied in another.  The women and girls socialized, ate and danced together. It was very festive.  Bahraini women love to dance – at least this group did – and some of them even belly-danced. (Yes, I tried).  But when the men were ready to enter the party we were told we needed to cover.  As an American woman I did not have to cover but I did to follow along with their tradition.  The women wear what’s called an abaya – which is a long black robe that covers all of their clothing and a scarf to cover their hair.  Only a couple women covered their faces entirely.  Once the men left, the women uncovered and went back to dancing. The only time I observed men and women dancing together was if they were of the same family. Not once did they eat together during the party.
 
There was only one other time that I covered and that was at the Souq – a large market where you can buy just about anything. Had I not covered I would have stood out like a sore thumb and may not have walked away with some pretty good deals. But for the record, women aren’t forced to cover in Bahrain – they wear regular clothing – and unlike some of their neighboring countries women are allowed to drive.
Midway through my trip my cousin and I hopped on a plane to Dubai. It took a little over an hour to get there.  The city is over the top for sure.  One of the shopping malls has a large ski resort inside – yes real snow – with ski-lifts.  You can buy or rent ski equipment and gear. There are several restaurants surrounding the ski resort so you can dine and watch people ski.  It’s something to see – don’t forget Dubai is in the desert.  What I saw of the city was decadent and breathtakingly beautiful. It is also home to the tallest building in the world – the Burj Khalifa.  The elevator takes you up 124 floors in 60 seconds.  Once you get to the top the view of the city is no less than spectacular. The real highlight though was getting back into Bahrain.  Little did I know my two week visa became null and void when I left the country.  So when I returned I was detained at the airport.  While that might sound scary it was really an adventure for me.  I discovered I was being detained for two reasons.  One –  I no longer had a visa  to enter the country and two – I wrote on my entry form that I was a news reporter and they thought I was there to cover protests.  In fact, they had just kicked a reporter out of the country for covering the protests.  Once I made them understand I was vacationing and not working I was free to enter.  Turns out that night we drove through an area where people were indeed protesting.  Police fired tear gas and protestors had rock piles to throw at police.  I found that exciting too. Blame it on the news reporter in me.
I could easily write a book about this trip.  I have so many things to tell you, like how my luggage didn’t arrive until day 5 of my 8 day vacation.  How my 1,500 U-S dollars was the equivalent of 564 Bahraini dinars (thank goodness for the AmEx). And how I had some of the best food I’ve ever eaten.
 
If you haven’t perhaps you should consider going to a place you’ve never been before.  A safe place of course – but a place that takes you outside your comfort zone. I think back on those who asked “why?”   Indeed there are countries in the Middle East I would probably avoid and others I would love to see.  And I would go back to Bahrain and the United Arab Emirates in heartbeat.  



 
 
 
 

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