August 2012 I wrote an entry in this blog titled “These Three Words”.  The three words are simple…

It gets better.

The story stemmed from an unexpected encounter I had with a woman who had just lost the love of her life – her husband of many years.  It seemed her grief was getting the best of her so I simply said “its gets better.”

Honestly, this journey is not for the faint of heart.  I often find myself adding up the years, the months and sometimes the hours – since that night cancer sucked the life out of my only child.  I watched her lay in bed and struggle to breathe.

I watched as the breathing became shallow

then more shallow

then not at all.

I laid beside her trying to talk her through the process of dying.  Not that I have experience with these things but like a mom I wanted to try to make it easier for her.  I tried to comfort her with words – with the sound of my voice.  She was not alone.

It is a night that is etched in my memory and will stay there until I reach the point where I am unable to think, remember and feel.

I look back and think about that day I spoke to the grieving woman.  Those three words I said to her are true.  I cry less.  I am now able to talk  about my daughter  in complete coherent sentences without falling apart.  In many of those conversations

I smile.

I laugh.

I feel good talking about her.

And I love when people allow me to do so – to talk about her.   Sometimes a brief chat can take the edge off a difficult day.  Reminiscing  is good therapy.  And it feels so much better when it’s not done in solitude.

Yes, it really does get better.  It just doesn’t go away.